Recognizing the Signs That a Loved One May Need More Help
When Is It Time? Recognizing the Signs That a Loved One May Need More Help
Few diagnoses affect a family quite like dementia. It slowly changes relationships, routines, and roles, often leaving family members grieving someone who is still physically present. Dementia doesn’t arrive with a clear announcement. For some, changes happen rapidly. For others, they develop so gradually that they are easy to dismiss as “just getting older.”
Unfortunately, there is no cure for most forms of dementia, and no two people experience it in the same way. One individual may struggle primarily with memory, while another experiences changes in judgment, personality, language, or problem-solving. This is what makes recognizing the need for additional support so challenging.
One of the hardest decisions families face is determining whether their loved one can continue living safely and independently at home or whether it is time for additional assistance or a different living arrangement. These decisions are emotional, and many families wait longer than they should because they hope things will improve or because they don’t want to take away their loved one’s independence.
The good news is that needing help does not automatically mean moving out of the home. In many situations, home care, family support, adaptive equipment, or community resources can safely extend independence for months or even years.
As you evaluate your loved one’s situation, remember that any one of the following changes, by itself, may not be cause for alarm. The important question is whether these behaviors represent a noticeable change from what has always been normal for them.
Eight Areas to Watch
- Medication Management
Medication errors are among the most common reasons older adults experience preventable hospitalizations.
Is your loved one:
- Missing doses?
- Taking medications at the wrong times?
- Taking medications more than once?
- Finding pills on the floor or scattered around the home?
- Forgetting to refill prescriptions?
Some medications are forgiving if a dose is missed, while others—such as heart medications, insulin, or blood thinners—can have serious consequences. If medication management has become inconsistent, additional support may be necessary.
- Meal Preparation and Nutrition
Preparing meals requires planning, judgment, and attention to safety.
Warning signs include:
- Burned pots or pans
- Food left cooking unattended
- Expired or moldy food in the refrigerator
- Empty cupboards or spoiled groceries
- Frequent reliance on snacks or fast food
- Unexplained weight loss or weight gain
- Decreased water intake leading to dehydration
Poor nutrition often develops gradually and may not be immediately noticeable.
- Safety and Mobility
A person’s physical abilities often change alongside cognitive changes.
Consider whether your loved one:
- Has difficulty climbing stairs
- Is unsteady while walking
- Has experienced falls or near-falls
- Has trouble getting in or out of bed or a chair
- Knows what to do during an emergency
- Can safely operate household appliances
Fortunately, many mobility concerns can be addressed with equipment such as grab bars, stair lifts, walkers, ramps, and personal emergency response systems. A physical or occupational therapy evaluation can also identify ways to improve safety and maintain independence.
- Personal Hygiene
Changes in personal care are often subtle at first.
Watch for:
- Wearing the same clothing repeatedly
- Clothing that is stained or inappropriate for the weather
- Declining bathing habits
- Poor grooming
- Body odor
- Dental hygiene being neglected
These changes are often not due to stubbornness but rather forgetting, confusion, or feeling overwhelmed by once-routine tasks.
- Transportation and Driving
Driving requires quick decision-making, good judgment, vision, and memory.
Be aware if your loved one:
- Avoids driving at night
- Limits driving to familiar locations
- Gets lost on familiar routes
- Has new dents or scrapes on the vehicle
- Complains about difficulty reading signs
- Becomes anxious while driving
Driving conversations are never easy, but addressing concerns early can prevent tragedy. Many rehabilitation centers offer comprehensive driving evaluations that provide objective recommendations.
- Social Engagement
People living with early dementia often withdraw from activities they once loved.
They may:
- Stop attending church or community events
- Decline invitations from friends
- Quit hobbies they once enjoyed
- Make excuses to stay home
- Become isolated
Sometimes this withdrawal is an attempt to hide memory problems or avoid embarrassment. Social isolation can accelerate both cognitive decline and depression, making continued engagement especially important.
- Home Management
The condition of the home often reflects a person’s ability to manage daily life.
Look for:
- Unopened mail piling up
- Laundry accumulating
- Dirty dishes remaining for days
- Housekeeping becoming neglected
- Lawn or garden maintenance being ignored
- Increased clutter or unsafe walking paths
These changes often indicate that routine responsibilities have become overwhelming.
- Financial Management
Managing finances requires organization, memory, and judgment.
Warning signs include:
- Late notices or unpaid bills
- Duplicate payments
- Unopened financial statements
- Unusual withdrawals
- New subscriptions or purchases they cannot explain
- Increased vulnerability to scams or fraud
Older adults are frequently targeted by scammers, making regular oversight of financial activity increasingly important as cognition changes.
Looking at the Whole Picture
Rarely does one isolated concern mean someone can no longer live independently. However, when several of these areas begin changing at the same time, it may be time to seek additional support.
Families often adapt gradually to changes without realizing how much assistance they are already providing. Ask yourself:
- Would my loved one be safe if no one checked on them for several days?
- Are these changes becoming more frequent?
- Am I constantly worrying about their safety?
- Has caregiving become overwhelming for our family?
If the answer to several of these questions is “yes,” it is time to begin having conversations about additional help.
You Don’t Have to Make These Decisions Alone
One of the most valuable steps families can take is involving outside professionals. Primary care physicians, neurologists, geriatric specialists, occupational therapists, care managers, and home care professionals can provide objective assessments and recommendations. Family members often minimize changes because they see them every day or because they understandably want to preserve their loved one’s independence.
Early planning allows your loved one to participate in decisions about their future while they are still able to express their wishes. Waiting until a crisis—a fall, hospitalization, wandering incident, or medication error—often limits available options.
Accepting help is not a sign of failure. In fact, it is often the best way to preserve dignity, maintain independence, and improve quality of life for both the individual living with dementia and the family who loves them.
No family should have to navigate dementia alone. Reaching out for guidance early can make the journey safer, less stressful, and more manageable for everyone involved.
Sherry Kutz is the Managing Director for Assured Assistance, a non-medical home care provider dedicated to helping seniors maintain their independence, safety, and quality of life throughout Berks County and surrounding communities 610-796-4737.