A Day In The Life Of A Caregiver

It was not just another ordinary day.  It was the only day of the week that was a complete washout.  The rain was coming down hard.  Mary had an eye doctor appointment which was her yearly scheduled exam.  She did not want to cancel because of the weather however she also was not happy about having to go out into the nasty weather.  As she stared thru her window looking out at my waiting car, she took a deep breath and said, ‘let’s go’.  One last check of things and she thought she had everything ready to go.  Umbrella tucked under her arm, sweater over her shoulder, handbag in hand, we ventured out the door.

The walk to the car was only 30 feet, but at 91 years old she knew better than to hurry anywhere for anything.  Mary did not want to fall!  She was methodical as she moved one foot in front of the other, holding on tightly, as she went up a few steps, over the curb and into the car.  Once in the car, Mary released a big sigh.  She had safely made it.

Mary stated she doesn’t get out of the house much especially not on days like today.  She would have preferred to stay home.  Her nervous chatter proved her point.  She hopped from one topic to another and then apologized for being so scattered.  I smiled, responding appropriately to her chatter, and encouraged her to relax.  She was safe with me.

We arrived at the eye doctor just a few minutes later.  As luck would have it, the rain seems to come down harder as we prepared to leave the car.  I was going to wait in the car, but luckily this doctor’s office allowed me to stay with Mary.  As she went to leave the car, she realized she forgot her cane.  Because she doesn’t use the cane around the house, she didn’t give it a thought when leaving.  I assured her, I would be there, right by her side to help her.  Again her anxiety spiked as she realized she needed to do this without the cane.  I walked her into the office, got her settled comfortably in a chair then excused myself to park the car.  Upon my return, I could see Mary was struggling.  The look of worry covered her face.

I looked Mary in the eye and calmly began conversing with her about nothing in particular.  Just needed to get her mind off the anxiety she was struggling with.  Soon her name was called and back we went.  The office visit took over 1.5 hours.  We went from room to room, having tests done then waiting and finally speaking with the doctor.  Mary’s shoulders slowly relaxed, her breathing normalized, her thoughts calmed.  We had lovely conversation about family, rainy crazy days, COVID, her birthday which was just a week away, her life of 90 years and many other things.  Mary was lovely!  She had a sense of humor which was quite enjoyable and the vision of a 40-year-old to boot!

Soon I found myself back in the car, driving Mary to her house.  I helped Mary down the steps into her house.  We hugged and I thanked her for a wonderful time together.  We laughed at all the adversity we faced in the short time we spend together.  While none of it was really that big of a deal, at the time it seemed overwhelming.

I walked back to my car and drove away in the rain.  I smiled as I thought back on the last 2 hours I had just spent with Mary.  My heart was filled with warmth.  I had not seen Mary in sometime.  This was not at all the day I thought it would be.  While I was looking forward to seeing Mary, I had no idea the impact she would have on me.  Mary touched my soul with her kindness, her wisdom and thoughtfulness.  I drove away with an empty feeling as I did not know when I would see her again.  I wondered if she had any idea how touched I was by our time together.

I am a caregiver.  I go where I am needed.  Today Mary confirmed why I am a caregiver.  I can not explain how she made me feel, I just know it touched my soul.  Yet I was the one who was supposed to be helping her.